La La Land

So I thought I would make it official. We did it. We moved. We bought a house in Heber. And yes, Jevan still works in Salt Lake - he commutes. My environmental studies teachers/friends would be so disappointed in me. He doesn't even commute in some sort of hybrid vehicle. I am SO hypocritical....but I can't help myself...I'm blinded by love.

I think I have been dreaming of living here since we've been married but I didn't think it would really happen. Whenever I would talk about it, Jevan would refer to it as my "La La Land." Well, La La Land, here I am. Here I get the Heber Creeper, Dairy Keen (not Queen mind you...it has the best shakes anywhere...and the greatest kids meal prizes ever), the Demolition Derby, the Cowboy Poetry Festival (what rhymes with yeehaw?) and the National Sheepdog Championships. Mostly though, it's just really pretty here. With the backdrop of Mt. Timpanogos and the areas of open pasture, I get this sensation every time I drive over the last hill and into the valley - a combination of relief, peace and belonging. I guess I really never have been a city person. And the best part? My city-slicker husband loves it too.

So, because people said they were curious, here's our new house. Come visit us some time. We'll rustle you up some grub and maybe even recite a cowboy poem or two.

Halloween Top 5

Top 5 favorite things of Halloween this year:

1. The fact that my second child isn't old enough to care that she is wearing her sister's costume from last year. Also, that if anyone tried to call her Alice she would yell "No! I Awwison (Allison) Wonder-and!" Get it right, people.



2. That the girls only lasted about 20 minutes trick-or-treating before they got too cold and wanted to go in. That made their stash of candy pretty small, and they were perfectly content to answer the door. Jane would fawn over everyone's costumes and Allie would yell "Oh! They're here!" EVERY time the door would ring. As if some long lost relatives finally made it to our house.



3. That our doorbell never stopped ringing. We went through 3 of the giant bags of candy that you buy at Costco. That's over 450 kids. It was basically a stampede of sugar-crazed little people running around the neighborhood.



4. That Halloween to a sugar addict (like myself) is like October Fest to an alcoholic. I might have stashed away a few Kit Kats as the candy started running low...just maybe....



5. That I have a brother-in-law who is the spitting image of Napolean Dynamite when in costume. It was definitely scary....and hilarious.

I love fall

Who doesn't love this time of year? The air is cool and crisp and the world is full of color. For some reason, I have felt this need to soak up every last bit of the autumn colors this year. I think I have dragged my family up the canyon almost every other day. You'd think it was my last season on earth or something. I don't know why I have been so obsessive about it, but I have. I try to capture it on camera but it is never really the same. Cameras just don't catch how vivid the colors are in real life.

Anyway, here is what I have to show for it.

Happy Fall !!

What Do Monsters Look Like?

So the other day, my sister-in-law came over to my parent's house (where we STILL currently live...but not for long...) with a surprise for Jane and Allie. She sits her down on the couch, whips out a book and starts reading. The book is darling and when I ask her who wrote it, she casually says "Oh..I got my children's book published." What the? She then launches into a story about how the book came to be, the process stretching over years, all starting with her little boy's fears of monsters under the bed. I was in awe.

So, I have to tell everyone who either has a child with a fear of monsters, or just wants a wonderful children's book, to buy this book. The premise is that the monsters under the bed are just as scared of you as you are of them. It's so stinkin' cute. You can get it off Amazon, or I can secure you a copy easily, maybe even signed by the author.

I am always so impressed with people who have a dream and see it fulfilled. Good job Amber. I want to be like you.

The Last of the Summer Adventures, Part 2: Canyoneering in Zion

Typically, when packing for a vacation most people put things like suntan lotion, beach towels, swimsuits, and flip flops. Most people are not like my in-laws. I think their ancestors were Nordic (likely Vikings). Contrary to what you might have learned in school, I'm convinced that the Vikings didn't rape and pillage because of overpopulation or religious convictions, but rather because it was the most difficult thing they could possibly do for fun. It was like a Viking vacation! I can imagine a Viking dad getting his immediate family together and having a conversation like this:

Paulthor (the dad): Sons, it's time we planned next year's family vacation. What should we do?

Gregotgardill (eldest son): How about rowing a boat up a waterfall?

All: Nah, too easy.

Cliarkf (younger son): What about playing tag with the sharks again? That was fun.

All: Boooo-ring.

Jevan (brother in-law) (and yes, it is a Nordic name I'll have you know): How about we pick an activity that won't get someone killed? Remember what happened to poor Hjorvarth last year...

[Paulthor, Gregotgardill and Cliarkf share a look of disgust]

Merdonfthnus (youngest son): It's not a vacation unless someone could die or at a minimum be horribly maimed you pansy.

Reedolf (other brother in-law): Jevan, you can stay here with the children while your wife Emilfrothi comes with us!!!

[All laugh, pointing fingers at Jevan and making rude hand gestures that bring into question his masculinity, parentage, facial hair and choice of clothing]

Louifstæn (mom) to Emilfrothi: I told you he was a wiener.

Paulthor: How about this - we'll all get into a boat, row across the ocean, land on a beach somewhere, run ashore brandishing weapons and screaming, rape / pillage / plunder, then come back home!

All except Jevan: Yaay!

This is pretty much how we plan family vacations in Em's family (including the mocking of my clothing). Case in point - the family trip to Zion National Park this summer. Here is what we packed: wetsuits, suntan lotion, 3 first aid kits, a climbing harness, locking carabiners, nylon ropes, wet bags, water, and tons of trail mix / granola bars. Pretty much the kinds of things that you would pack if you were planning on running from the law for an extended period of time in the desert.

In the past, Emily has gone on this annual "Let's attempt to cheat death one more time" vacation by herself, but this year I decided that I had had enough of the rude gestures from her brothers and came with them. This is a rough breakdown of how it all went down.

Day 1:
Wake up at 5:00 AM, because no good adventure starts after sunrise. (Note: I think that, with the exception of early-morning golf, the Holy Ghost really does go to bed at 12:00AM and doesn't wake up until around 7:30 or 8:00.)
Get in the car and drive for a couple of hours.
Contemplate the number of ways you may meet your end in the upcoming hours.
Arrive at the trailhead at 7:30AM. Begin hiking.
Hike down some steep canyon terrain until you arrive at the mouth of a slot canyon.
Realize that you have survived so far and be simultaneously grateful and sad that it will take even more effort to get your corpse out in the event of an accident.
Proceed to what the guide book describe as your first 'obstacle'.
Remind yourself that an 'obstacle' is to a Tayler as 'The Grand Canyon' is to a unicyclist.
Proceed to rappel down a 20-foot cliff into a puddle of what can only be described as "37 years' worth of cow urine in mud".
Slog your way through while trying not to breathe.
Accidentally breathe.
Vow to make it the last 20 feet without breathing, or die in the attempt.
Watch your mother in-law do the same thing and feel like a total wimp.
See your mother in-law's shoes come off in the pee / mud mixture.
Try not to giggle.
Tell your wife you can't go in and help your mother in-law get out because you're filming the event for posterity.
Help your mother in-law out.
Remind your mother in-law that this is her vacation.
Catch all of the pack as they are thrown down from the top of the 'obstacle'.
Discover that, when thrown from 20 feet above you, catching a 60-pound backpack feels very similar to getting steamrolled by a blitzing linebacker.
Reassemble the group, after an hour or so of traversing the stinkhole.
Resume hiking (and breathing).
Traverse a few other 'obstacles', including one in which you have to physically drop your wife, sister in-law, niece, and mother in-law off of a cliff into a pool of water (I'm not exaggerating).
Tell your mother in-law she looks like a drowned cat.
Pretend to not notice the dirty looks you get from everyone.
Find out why it's not a good idea to hike for many hours with a mesh-lined swimsuit.
Discover first-hand the meaning of the word 'chafing'.
Learn to hike bow-legged.
Continue hiking. Start to look at all of the amazing stuff that 99% of the people that go to Zions don't see. Think to yourself that maybe the Vikings were onto something.
Realize that there's something to be said for near-death vacationing.
Emerge from the canyon at 8:30 PM battered, bruised, chafed, but whole.
Spend 27 minutes showering and using an entire bar of soap attempting to remove the 'obstacle' smell.
Remember that Day 1 was the 'easy' day.
Collapse into bed for a few hours of sleep.

Day 2:
Wake up at 6:00AM.
Pack wet suit, ropes, harness, carabiners, and food into a dry pack.
Ensure your Last Will & Testament is in order.
Drive to the trailhead.
Start hiking.
After 2 minutes, arrive at the first 'obstacle'. Or, to be more accurate, the place where you have to put on a wetsuit and swim through freezing cold and fetid water in order to get to the first obstacle.
"ON-ROPE".
Rappel down a sheer 80-foot cliff.
"OFF-ROPE".
Hike through an amazing slot canyon, going down some incredible rappels (including one into 'The Cathedral', which has to be one of the coolest things you've ever done).
Be upset that your camera's battery is nearly dead.
After numerous rappels, arrive at the last one - a 120-ft free rappel straight down into the jaws of death picnic spot.
Sidle up to the edge of certain death without looking down.
Look down.
Let your nephew go first.
Watch as he manages to hang on to the cliff using only his butt cheeks.
Marvel at the amazing gripping power of terrified glutes.
"ON-ROPE"
Army-ranger rappel down to the bottom.
"OFF-ROPE"
Resist the urge to kiss the ground and weep.
See your father in-law, wife, and 15 year-old niece do all of the above and ponder whether
a) you're just a wimp,
b) they're really tough,
c) they really are Vikings, or
d) all of the above
(note: the answer is d)
Hike out of the canyon, spending time playing in swimming holes rejoicing that you still have all of your limbs attached and no known organ punctures.
Enjoy a meal swapping war stories with the rest of the Vikings.

So there you have it. I survived, and found that it was one of the funnest vacations I've been on. I was proud of every scrape, bruise, contusion, and odor I got on that trip. Sign me up for the next raid!

They are all smiling. That's because none of them smell like cow pee yet.

Yeah. We walked through that. Paul actually had to get his nose about 1 inch above the water to dig out Louise's shoes.

I may have neglected to mention that we found Gollum on the trip.

Louise, my mother in-law, rappelling down into the cow pee, with Gollum watching his Precioussssss...

And we just lost a shoe.

Looking up from one of the slot canyons. Freedom seems far away right now.

The aforementioned 'Drowned Cat' pose.

Check out the scale of the canyons.

Em trying to decide which way to go.

I thought this looked really neat, with the vertical crack in the wall.

Ensign Tayler, reporting for duty. Fortunately, he was wearing a blue uniform. Had it been red he would definitely have been eaten by a monster along the way...

... like poor Hjovarlth and Magnus, who didn't make it.

Ready to swim through who knows what.

Em rappelling down into the Cathedral.

Finally getting the hang of it. And for the record, yes farmer tans help when you're canyoneering.

Coming down the last rappel.

The Last of the Summer Adventures, Part 1: The Grand Tetons and Yellowstone

Sorry folks. One last family vacation post. I wanted to get it recorded before, say, Christmas..as I do rather like to procrastinate.

Once again, I think I will let the pictures do most of the talking. Here's a quick summary:
In July, I went with my young women from our old ward up to run the Snake River. For some reason, the Young Men's leader thought that since I had run rivers with my family growing up, it somehow put me in the category of river guide, and that I was capable of paddling a huge raft full of teenagers down the Snake - a river I hadn't actually ever run. Not being able to convince him that the idea scared the pants off me, (I honestly had nightmares for weeks, kids drowning, parents strangling me, even Kevin Bacon appearing out of nowhere to hunt me down (movie anyone? A River Wild. Kevin Bacon has one of those faces that completely freaks me out) I quickly invited my dad along as moral support. He was a good sport....and I made him run the rapids for me. Whew. Huge crisis averted. Jevan and the girls then drove up and picked me up in Wyoming and we set off for a weekend in the Tetons and Yellowstone.

We camped at Signal Mountain, and despite the hoards of vampire mosquitos, we had a great time. Such a beautiful place. I think the kids were impressed too. Although, if you ask Jane, the thing she remembers most was the deer with 2 broken legs (probably got hit by a car) trying to get away from a BEAR IN OUR CAMPGROUND! Luckily we were in our car, but Jane talked about it for days. Definitely disconcerting. Don't worry - the bear never got the deer - no scenes out of Wild America for us, thank goodness. Ranger Susie saved the day. (Editor's note: "Save the day" = take the wounded deer for a walk with a shotgun in tote. Not exactly a happy ending, but the bear didn't get to eat it...)

Anyway, it was all beautiful, the weather was great, and Allie only had a few breakdowns of epic proportions. No naps plus sleeping in a tent where you can roam about endlessly until you fall asleep do not a happy toddler make.

It was still REALLY fun.

Some of the daring Young Women from my old ward. They are all awesome girls and I miss them....

Starting our hike to Jenny Lake. This is also where Jane informs me that this is NOT her favorite place to hike. Her favorite place is "Warberry Alice Sunburn Valley." Oh, well then. She gets to plan the next family vacation.

Taking the picture BEFORE the hike. This is important. We have learned that even after 5 minutes into the hike, pictures with all family members present and smiling are not so...possible.

Um...taking the ferry across Jenny Lake as to make the hike significantly shorter...ah-hem. Jevan liked the 3 blond heads shot.

Making it to Hidden Falls. Definitely worth the trip.

Jane makes friends with squirrel. Apparently it likes Pringles. Don't tell Ranger Susie. Jevan's cousin Morgan told me that it looks like the squirrel is smoking a doobie. Definitely don't tell Ranger Susie that...

Playing at Jenny Lake. Here Jane informs me that if I ever wanted to buy the sky, it would cost me a million dollars. No one tell Bill Gates. At that price, he could buy the freakin' universe.

This, dear friends, is Jane's deliciously named "nun cupcake". It's a bit gritty but it just might save your soul.

Allie chillin' in the carseat...in the near-buff because she decided some swimming was in order.

YELLOWSTONE:

This is by far one of my most favorite pictures from the trip. A true Allie smile...they are really rare to catch on camera. Allie LOVES drinking fountains. She was delighted to find one just her size.

Walking around the boardwalk by Old Faithful, looking at pools and geysers. Here Jane asks me: "If Jesus fell into this pool, would he cook like a hot dog or just get baptised?" What do you say to that?

Have I mentioned Jane loves bugs? Jane loves bugs and has NO fear of them. Hence, the HUGE beetle on her arm. She let it climb all over her for a good 10 minutes.

Note the new bug friend perched on her hat. It climbed from her arm, up the side of her face and onto her hat. Note too the onlooker in the background. She watched with fear and amazement and repeatedly refused Jane's invitations for her to hold the bug.

We had to take a picture of this doomsday cloud. It was the ONLY cloud in the sky and shaped like an atomic bomb mushroom cloud? Freaky.

Playing in the river near a hot spring.Good times.

Crazy Jane in our campground. The night before we were playing the "like/hate" game. I said I really liked camping and I really hated mosquitos. Jane said she really liked marshmellows and...really hated it when a car runs over her. Right. No hit and runs, people. Jane hates that.

Like father, like daughter. No need to say more.

Today, we say a (not so) fond farewell and welcome a new addition.....

Our Booger died.

I wish I could say it was with a heavy heart, but it really wasn't. It's life ended on the freeway in a swirl of smoke.

The old, heavy, stinky guy had been good to us, bless it's heart. (You know you can say something derogatory about ANYTHING, so long as you add "bless his heart" at the end, right? For instance: "That guy that just cut me off is a sorry little man....bless his heart." See? You can vent your feelings AND give him blessings....it's a total win-win.)

Yes, a few weeks ago we said a fond farewell to our Booger, our 1994 Ford Tempo, a lovely shade of turquoise-green, weighing as much as a small building and navigating the roads about as well as one too. Each door was crafted with so much metal that they threatened to crush you instantly if you didn't leap from the car and roll to safety. Trying to get out while parked on a hill was especially exciting.

So, with a loving kick to it's tires, we sent it off to the Kidney Foundation.

And then, we broke down, gave in, and bought this:



Yes, we are the proud new owners of a MINI-VAN.

This is the point where I freak out a little and wonder how in the world my life suddenly got to this stage. I truly had a mid-life crisis during the test drive. You KNOW it makes sense, you KNOW you love having a wonderful little family to putter them around in it, but you still wonder how you went from crazy, adventurous college kid to soccer mom in 2.2 seconds.

Is it just me or did any one else go through this?

At least we still have my baby, the '98 Subaru Outback. It will keep me reminded of the good ol' days.

Anyway, we're happy to have our new "certified used car" toyota sienna. There is just no beating the convenience of a mini-van. It's nice, sensible and gonna go forever and I'm going to love it..........right???